Helloooo
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#alpha
•Wednesday, May 23, 2012
hello :)
okay, dont be deceived by that smiley face.
clearly im not as happy as i am LOL.
hmm.. to my problem and the reason why i felt like blogging
mainly, cause i dont think i can tell anyone about it
it just doesnt work
so, there's this person who you're interested in.. lets call him 'alpha'
right, so all along you like 'alpha' and you, obviously believe that alpha likes you too
(which is not entirely true of course, its just what YOU think)
but as time goes along, you started to realise that you really do fall for alpha.
you know that once you fall, you take at least a year to get back up. its hard.
so right, you just realize you cant go on this way with alpha.
it just... hurts you so much because you dont know whether alpha knows how you felt about him
and you dont know how alpha truly feels either
day by day, you drag it on and on.
wanted to tell but not as well. it gets drag so so badly.
till the point you cant be bothered about the consequences anymore
all you want is to just reveal everything..
you cant go on anymore.. (thats how important alpha is to you at this point)
somehow, you jokingly asked alpha, "you arent interested in me are you?" or something along that line.. and you hope that alpha will admit that he actually do.
but no, sorry, alpha said that you think too much and that hes really not interested in you.
then ur world come tumbling down.
you just.. dont even know what to do anymore.
whyy D:
you keep telling urself that alpha is not important.
doesnt matter at all.
doesnt really mean anything anyway.
BUT IT JUST DOESNT WORK.
somehow you longed for alpha and wish that he actually said he do too.
you dont wanna tell alpha that ure interested anymore
cause it doesnt really matter to him anyway
and neither to you too.
but still,
i miss alpha.
but dw, you'll let go of alpha
and head forward with your life.
it just... hurts so much at the beginning.
it feels like.. you cant go on anymore.
argh.
you know that time will heal everything.
kthxbai
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#55
•Saturday, May 5, 2012
life's alright nowadays
despite having exams almost every week ._.
neway, im blogging a little differently today 'cause im tired.
first day of working from 9am-5pm..
was so fun and niceeee though.
didnt really feel tired at all.. just that my bp might have increased a little. haha
argh gotta study for exam.
wish me luck!
=)
adios!
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#54
•Saturday, April 28, 2012
so true.
ahh initially wanted to post a 'a person can only take in so much before breaking' pictureee.
but cant find it argh.
so anyway second best picture is this i believe.
everytime i said that i wanna let go, it turns out the opposite.
i just.... contradict myself everytime this happens.
told myself nottoreplynottoreplynottoreply..
and most of the times i get so vulnerable till i ended up replying.
argh dont know whether to be mad at myself or what.
its crazy i know.
C said what a shame LOL. basically implying that im silly to keep replying
i feel sillier because i keep expecting for something impossible to happen.
i can feel it, i thought i knew it was there
but having to say that, i always feel the wrong thing
so maybe its never there anyway
it was just in my thoughts.
but WHYYY.
how?
who does what he does and does it because we're friends?
i mean, it somehow seems more than that.
hard to deny for me, but might be an everyday thing for him?
i dont know.. so tired of thinking about these kinda things.
takes up too much brain space =S
i just wish i know whether its a yes or no.
i know right, looking at my attitude, im a pretty direct person.
im the type who shows it all on the face whether im happy or sad or angry
im also not afraid of saying things out to people
but just for once, i dont want to be the one asking.
i want to feel how its like to be asked.
well, when im fed up, ill end up asking or hinting to it..
just wait and see.
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#idkwhat
•Wednesday, April 25, 2012
haha in the train using my app to blog :P |
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#52
•Sunday, April 22, 2012
okay, i've finally realised something.
i feel so much happier when im all alone, not relying on anyone when im sad or happy
so much better feelinggg now.
man, who cares whether he care anot.
as long as i dont care, i dont need to know anymore.
life's so much easier.
=)
free yourself and you'll feel happier.
oh, was so sick this morning and last night.
diarrhea and vomitting.
must be food poisoning argh.
dammit.
dw, im better now 8) Labels: daily happenings :), philosophical :) |
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#51
•Friday, April 20, 2012
argh.. i dont know whats right anymore.
so confused right now.
i know its mutual, yet im not confident that it is?
i dont even know what i'm thinking anymore.
this has occupied my thought so much nowadays.
cant even think straight whyyy :(
if only he would let me know.
if only... everything is much simpler.
i wanna give up so badly.
but i know that i can't. Labels: daily happenings :), missing someone♥, tiring and stressful day Dx |
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hi there!
